Experiencing My Freedom

It feels so good.

I will be leaving CBH soon, probably for the open road!

Love,
Geronimo

P.S. I am the master of all I survey.

I'm A Dreamer

With a Mean Streak that has a purpose. Search and Destroy!

I love 3 things most in this life: F#cking, Fighting, and Fathering (in reverse order).

If you love me PUT ME TO WORK!

Rocking my way through CBH.

Love,
Geronimo

P.S. The weight of my mistakes depends on how we feel. Reality is CONSENSUAL.

Baltimore Bound?

Feeling better on a reduced dose of Abilify: 15mg/night down from 20mg/night. I took my first 15mg dose last night, and I've been feeling better all day.

I may be moving to Baltimore to live in a group home for a while. From there, I'd like to get a p/t job, see about marketing Thunder Road, and continue to work on my meds. Save up some money, get my own place in Bmore or back in the Takoma Park area. Keep on Truckin'!

Dad shared about this article with me over the phone this evening:
"The Way We Diagnose Mental Illness Might Be A 'Mistake'"

Drug Check

I've been taking 20mg/day of Abilify for about 2 1/2 weeks now, and I am quite thoroughly dried up, creatively speaking.

So much for immunity!

I am looking for a good opportunity to change something -- probably either reducing my dose of Abilify or going back to Risperdal.

Moving Farther On

I've been going through some problematic, lethargic, digestive YUCK here at CBH Health, but that seems to be on its way out. For a while I didn't feel like doing much of anything, but I did read Pete Townshend's memoirs.

I've been taking oral Abilify for about 2 1/2 weeks.

Now I'm getting geared up to see what I can do for marketing Thunder Road some more.

Here are some examples of possible outcomes of my participating in the study here at CBH:

1) I like the way I feel and can operate while taking Abilify and decide to stay on it indefinitely.

2) I like the way I feel and can operate while taking Abilify and decide to see how little I need in order to function well.

3) I do not like the way I feel and can operate while taking Abilify and decide to go back to Risperdal (the medicine I was taking before I got into this clinical study).

4) I do not like the way I feel and can operate while taking Abilify and decide to decrease the dose slowly to see if that improves things.

All of this is under the supervision of at least one psychiatrist.

Gettin' PAID to take drugs!

Hello, Racefans

Brotha G has an office for the time being at CBH Health. They are paying me to take an antipsychotic drug called Abilify.

I got here Friday (yesterday), and today I have informed the staff, in the interests of transparency and full disclosure, that I am immune to antipsychotics (having taken them for over 10 years).

So, basically, at this point I am getting paid to have a good time and run my business, Thunder Road.

Lovin' it!!!!

Brotha G

Drunk, Fat, And Happy!

Just got the word from my public defender that I'm only getting probation and a small fine on Thursday at my court hearing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am enjoying being inebriated in the good ol' US of A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the Midnight Hour: MO' MO' MO'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love this country!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Geronimo

Livin' It UP!

1) I have a court date on October 10.

2) I may be incarcerated for up to 8 years and 60 days for 3 misdemeanors.

3) If you want to support me, call me and cheer me on!

301-375-5982

Love,
Geronimo!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lovin' Life

Living in assisted living is like being in college and studying whatever I want!

My roomie and I are watching The Bucket List. Might watch The Aviator next.

It is a challenge too, as I get ready to move back to Takoma under my own steam.

Very exciting time for me!

Love,

Clyde

Clouds

Yesterday was exciting because I took a risk toward living my dream. I totally redid my website at Thunder Road.

Now I think I'm prepared to start handing out my business cards. I'll figure it out as I go along.

I've been thinking about this YouTube post about Zach Sobiech, who let his terminal illness teach him about the things that matter in life. Beautiful vid, brought tears to my eyes.

Thank you, Zach, for helping me have the courage to keep putting one foot in front of the other toward my dream, even when it seems frivolous and unworkable.

Starting Again

Dear Readers,

I have been encountering my limits.

For one thing, I have found that taking less than 3mg of my antipsychotic (Risperdal) results in my going back to the hospital -- and risks me going to jail for harassing people.

I have decided to get biweekly injections of Risperdal instead of taking nightly pills. That way, I have fewer chances to have problems taking my meds. After a few biweekly doses, I will be getting monthly injections -- even better. My goal is to continue the injections until at least June of 2018, and to stay out of the hospital those 5 years as well. I'll see how things look in 2018, and then maybe I'll double down for another 5 years if I like the results of the first 5.

I just got out of the hospital this last time 4 days ago, and now I am living in assisted living in Lanham, MD. Quite a humbling experience. I'm working to get some stability under my belt and put together a plan for more independent housing after a little while.

I'm figuring out how I want to spend my time, and where Thunder Road fits in.

Clyde The Turtle

I have moved on from being Geronimo to being Clyde (from time to time). I am learning from the turtle dreaming.

Through Geronimo I found freedom. Being Clyde is teaching me about slowness. And constancy: the faithful willingness to witness the moment as it is.

*     *     *     *     *

I have a new friend. Let's call him Schultz. We spend lots of time together talking, doing landscaping, and visiting the countryside. We talk shop about Buddhism. Schultz is a righteous dude.

Bianca and I are getting to know each other better and be better roommates and friends. It still gets pretty stormy sometimes, and that doesn't have to be a problem.

I have a new business website up at thunderroadconsulting.com. I'm running Thunder Road under my legal name, Matthew Pflantzbaum. My door is open to helping small businesses improve their functioning and bottom line.

I am very happy with life.

I am happy to write, and I am happy to do landscaping.

Plans come and go, and life unfolds.

The Old Man Down The Road

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Old_Man_Down_The_Road

I love the story behind this song.

John Fogerty had to bring his guitar into court and PROVE that he was not plagiarizing himself -- he just has a SOUND that runs through all his music.

I have a sound too.

Leave a comment if you know my sound! I don't care if you like it or not! I still want to hear from you!

I will never change, come hell, high water, court, jail, and death Herself. And I couldn't change if I tried.

AND THE SAME GOES FOR ALL OF YOU!

I LOVE YOUR SOUND! ROCK ON!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Geronimo

Great Movie

Bianca (my roommate) and I saw this movie last night for her birthday:

The Place Beyond the Pines

It Stays the Same -- And It Keeps Getting Better

The more I break down, the more I break through.

Even as the body slowly fails, the I that is I knows more and more Freedom.

I belong to You and You belong to Me.

I'm Alive

I am Awake.

I am Alive.

Thank You, Great Spirit: You, Who makes me soar like an Eagle.